Make or Mar heartwood : ब्रह्मचर्यआश्रम Stress vs Overprotective Parenting :

Nisarg Joshi

Child Development

Heartwood

अमरकोश (७.४) पर टीका करते हुए भानु जी दीक्षित ने ‘आश्रम’ शब्द की व्याख्या इस प्रकार की है: आश्राम्यन्त्यत्र। अनेन वा। श्रमु तपसि। घञ््‌ा। यद्वा आ समंताछ्रमोऽत्र। स्वधर्मसाधनक्लेशात्‌। अर्थात्‌ जिसमें स्म्यक्‌ प्रकार से श्रम किया जाए वह आश्रम है अथवा आश्रम जीवन की वह स्थिति है जिसमें कर्तव्यपालन के लिए पूर्ण परिश्रम किया जाए। आश्रम का अर्थ ‘अवस्थाविशेष’ ‘विश्राम का स्थान’, ‘ऋषिमुनियों के रहने का पवित्र स्थान’ आदि भी किया गया है।

In student life, it was expected to provide stress. Positive stress. It is this stress that cultivates growing mind and body.

What is happening now in society is exactly opposite!

I recently attended one conference on Sandalwood tree. One esteemed scientist, who spent his entire life researching Sandal, gave important fact:
 
Sandalwood tree’s valuation happen based on the heartwood quality. If growing sandalwood tree, is not given water stress post monsoon (No water for 3 months), quality of heartwood is compromised.
 
Heartwood = The core of the tree where oil is stored.
 
Moral of the fact?
 
Life flourishes under moderate stress. Struggle is necessary for existence.
 
What is happening now with growing kids? They get cozy environment. Luxury all the time. Even schools now have AC 😀
 
On other hand, their parents live life under extreme stress. 😉
 
Complete chaos.
 
The best way to simulate war-like stress is sports. Games. Games with zero material investment but 100% physical and mental involvement.
 
Not Cricket but Kabbadi, kho-kho. Even Hockey or Footbal would do. Akhada must.
 
Arrange an environment so that your child is raised under moderate stress. Never ever spoonfeed.
 
Read below post by Devendra Sharma ji:
 
When parents strive to give their children the best of everything at an early age, they are sowing seeds for materially insatiable monsters that are prone to sloth, apathy, avarice and fear.
Don’t stand in self- defense as yet. I have proof. As I Sit in my counselor’s chair day after day I encounter an altogether new disorder that I have come to label as- Parent Induced Wastefulness (PIW).
Here are a few examples:
26-year-old Manas does not want to finish his Engineering degree because he does not ‘feel like’ studying. But he harasses his parents every day for his spending money. He tells me that whenever he did not feel like any doing particular activity his parents told him he can quit. They always said they did not want him to get ‘stressed’ like they had when growing up.
34-year-old Raghav is a qualified Engineer and is married for 2 years but his wife is not ready to live with him hence the counseling. He is qualified al right but refuses to stick to any job as it makes his feel stressed! Every two months he runs back home from work and wants his parents to solve his problem like they did every time he refused to go to school.
28 years old Anjali does not want to go back to her one-year-old marriage because it is too much for her to work in the office and then look after the household. She wants her mother to come and live with her and do the household work.
29-year-old Bhavesh showed me his horoscope (Which he carries everywhere). He says that when he was taken to one ‘reading’ since he could not clear some of his papers, the expert had told them that the horoscope showed a lot of negativity in whatever he did. “So” he says “What is the use of working when there would be nothing but negativity?”
There are many but all originating in overzealous parents wanting to protect their children from even the smallest discomfort in childhood. You love them alright, but when you shell them from the adversities of life, what you are doing is bringing them up in a sterile environment. The result- the moment they are exposed to the world their immunity buckles up and they stand threadbare wanting to run away from everything that is anything but comfortable.
They have to live in this very world and away from you. Do you really love them? Or do you love yourself more? If it is them, then you would ensure to make them future ready- let them face, talk to them, provide support, but let them face- housework, studies, bullying and adversities. Tell them money is limited and let them learn to hear a lot of ‘NO’- That’s what makes them- FUTURE READY.

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