Parenting

Parenting

Pregnancy and Parenting

0

 

 

pregnancy

गर्भे षष्ठे मासे बुद्धि |
Ideally, the intellect comes at 6th month of gestation. When all ideal conditions are provided to mother.

When child comes to the world, it expects same womb like feeling. Instead of giving it all comforts it has in mother’s womb, we bombard selfie camera flash, noise and unnecessary touch!

Maintain sacredness between child and mother. Leave them alone for first 3-4 months. No relatives, no noise, no touching! Womb-like! Mother-child!

Story does not end when the child is delivered. We just switch the womb. In not so ideal conditions, like most of us are in, बुध्धि comes much later in life. This world,the macro-womb, helps us to gain level-headedness essential for self-realization.

Unfortunately, we lack द्रष्टि to realize mother’s womb. And fail to learn from all her vital hints. Instead, we perform suicidal acts and invite premature death. And the cycle goes on forever…the birth and death cycle…

There is nothing called ‘wasted life’. Just a wasted cycle.

We all are in the womb. Nurturing lives. Here and thereafter.

Environment, Not Genes: Effect of Early childhood on Adult Genes variations

EarlyLife

It is after modern science dogma of gene-driven life, we Indians started ignoring real factors affecting our life. All factors summarize as one word “Environment”.

Early life experiences influence DNA in the adult brain

 

Modern education is designed to inject ideas and philosophy of church. So superficial that we start ignoring impact of environment on our self.

Very popular Chanalya’s verse suggest how environment during childhood plays critical role in adult life.

लालयेत् पंचवर्षाणि दशवर्षाणि ताडयेत्। प्राप्ते तु षोडशे वर्षे पुत्रं मित्रवदाचरेत्॥

पुत्र का पांच वर्ष तक लालन करे । दस वर्ष तक ताड़न करे । सोलहवां वर्ष लग जाने पर उसके साथ मित्र के समान व्यवहार करना चाहिए ।

First 5 years at home. Next 10 years in resident school. 16+ in society where he or she will have to face the संसार!

Why? Because first 5 years (in fact first 6 years, before conception to age 5) is the time when maximum neuronal networks are developed. In next 10 years, there will be many associations made among neurons. All based on your experience and environment!

“We are taught that our DNA is something stable and unchanging which makes us who we are, but in reality it’s much more dynamic,” says Rusty Gage, a professor in Salk’s Laboratory of Genetics. “It turns out there are genes in your cells that are capable of copying themselves and moving around, which means that, in some ways, your DNA does change.”

What type of resident school?

A place full of trees and water bodies! Best in the laps of mother nature, on the banks of flowing river, surrounded by sacred grove! It is this time of the life which will help build best possible body and mind!

Not only this, we also believe in Sanskar(s). Mental environment and cure. We all take birth with past life’s karma storage and mental tendencies. Sanskar(s) help to purify child.

Here are the old notes on impact of terrain and region on intellect:

Importance of Sanskar

Prana-Apana , Grains and Sanskar

हनुमान तत्व & ब्रह्मचर्याश्रम

GEOGRAPHY and Cognitive Development link

Wetland , Intellectuals, Brahmi

Now, read this latest research and get rid of modern fake dogma of gene-driven life. It is always environment-driven life.


Research


Early life experiences influence DNA in the adult brain

www.salk.edu/news-release/early-developmental-experiences-influence-dna-in-the-adult-brain/

For at least a decade, scientists have known that most cells in the mammalian brain undergo changes to their DNA that make each neuron, for example, slightly different from its neighbor. Some of these changes are caused by “jumping” genes—officially known as long interspersed nuclear elements (LINEs)—that move from one spot in the genome to another. In 2005, the Gage lab discovered that a jumping gene called L1, which was already known to copy and paste itself into new places in the genome, could jump in developing neuronal brain cells.

The team had hypothesized that such changes create potentially helpful diversity among brain cells, fine-tuning function, but might also contribute to neuropsychiatric conditions.

“While we’ve known for a while that cells can acquire changes to their DNA, it’s been speculated that maybe it’s not a random process,” says Tracy Bedrosian, a former Salk research associate and first author of the study. “Maybe there are factors in the brain or in the environment that cause changes to happen more or less frequently.”

Not only your child! Society’s child, Nation’s child!

0

laurel-851030_960_720

There is a fashion of putting new born child pics on social network. Parents call newborn as ‘My child’!

Dear parents,

Not only your child! Society’s child. Nation’s child. Mother Earth’s child! Don’t forget to instill National fervor, in between your selfish possessive love impulses for newborn. Train them to live selfless life.

Your friend,
Marut
=================
” Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.”

Kahlil Gibran

Drone Parenting (Modern Psychology) vs (Sutra) Chanakya’s Child Psychology

0

sutra

Who decides what level documentation one should do?

अल्पाक्षरमसंदिग्धं सारवद्विश्वतो मुखम् ।
अस्तोभमनवद्यं च सूत्रं सूत्रविदो विदुः ॥

अल्पाक्षरता, असंदिग्धता, साररुप, सामान्य सिद्धांत, निरर्थक शब्द का अभाव, और दोषरहितत्व – ये छे ‘सूत्र’ के लक्षण कहे गये हैं ।

We believe in सूत्र level of documentation. If I really want my student to आत्मसात the subject, I will set him free by giving सूत्र | The real वीर will walk on the guided path (सूत्र) and derive his/her own conclusions based on स्थल, देश, काल!

so for parenting, very powerful sutra is given.

लालयेत् पंच वर्षाणि दश वर्षाणि ताडयेत्।
प्राप्ते तु षोडशे वर्षे पुत्रे मित्रवदाचरेत्।।

अर्थात- पाँच वर्ष की अवस्था तक पुत्र को लाड़ करना चाहिए, दस वर्ष की अवस्था तक (उसी की भलाई के लिए) उसे ताड़ना देना चाहिए और उसके सोलह वर्ष की अवस्था प्राप्त कर लेने पर उससे मित्रवत व्यवहार करना चाहिए।

We don’t care about the cultural legacy given as free gift and then run after half-baked western psychology. Take for example this concept of helicopter parenting!

It is not that easy to make 2 years set free. And at the same time, it is foolish to continuously observe 12 years old like a drone!


Research


http://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2018/06/helicopter-parenting.aspx

Helicopter Parenting May Negatively Affect Children’s Emotional Well-Being, Behavior

It’s natural for parents to do whatever they can to keep their children safe and healthy, but children need space to learn and grow on their own, without Mom or Dad hovering over them, according to new research published by the American Psychological Association. The study, published in the journal Developmental Psychology®, found that overcontrolling parenting can negatively affect a child’s ability to manage his or her emotions and behavior.

“Our research showed that children with helicopter parents may be less able to deal with the challenging demands of growing up, especially with navigating the complex school environment,” said Nicole B. Perry, PhD, from the University of Minnesota, and lead author of the study. “Children who cannot regulate their emotions and behavior effectively are more likely to act out in the classroom, to have a harder time making friends and to struggle in school.”

Parents’ teen age secures child’s future

0

TeenAge

Old note on parenting for teen age:

Right Age, Right Actions : No? Yes to Cervical cancer

This life is continuous uninterrupted journey. All our actions are recorded secretly (चित्रगुप्त या गुप्त चित्र) and passed on to next generation! Only selfish generation with think for self and never care about the future generations. Nothing but civilization blunder & societal suicide.

We are nothing but a link between past and future! Perform your duty well. Nurture your kids well so that they too can play their role efficiently.

Most important section of childhood is teen-age. Time when a kid is mature enough to know many things, developing layer upon layer on Ego in absence of right life-oriented education and a guide. This will turn them into yet another adult ready to be slave of master-slave system prevailing in the world.

We must act to break this chain. Read this research to realize importance of teen-parenting, role of resident Guru-centered schooling during teen age and


Research


Adolescence and the next generation

Adolescent growth and social development shape the early development of offspring from preconception through to the post-partum period through distinct processes in males and females. At a time of great change in the forces shaping adolescence, including the timing of parenthood, investments in today’s adolescents, the largest cohort in human history, will yield great dividends for future generations.

https://media.nature.com/lw926/nature-assets/nature/journal/v554/n7693/images/nature25759-f1.jpg
https://media.nature.com/lw926/nature-assets/nature/journal/v554/n7693/images/nature25759-f1.jpg

Puberty marks a transition to adolescence and a life phase during which girls and boys acquire resources that are essential for becoming parents of the next generation. It also marks the beginning of reproductive life with a transition to functional gamete production. The preconceptional phase (that is, adolescence) varies markedly in length carrying implications for the acquisition of the social, financial and educational assets and nutritional, health and interpersonal risks that underlie intergenerational processes. The three months before conception is a time of male and female gamete maturation when parental exposures, including nutrition, obesity, substance use, stress, endocrine disruptors and physical activity may influence gamete structure and function. Periconception includes fertilization of the maternal and paternal gametes as well as the zygote and embryonic phases that are sensitive to the maternal nutritional and hormonal environment. There continue to be direct maternal effects antenatally mediated through the in utero environment and postnatally through nutrition (for example, breastfeeding) and the maternal–infant relationship. Direct paternal influences grow in the postnatal phase through the paternal–infant relationship and potentially through risk exposures, such as paternal tobacco use. Maternal and paternal health, behaviour as well as social and economic circumstances continue to have an indirect effect on offspring development in both antenatal and postnatal phases.

https://www.nature.com/articles/nature25759

 

Cartoons on TV is not Story Telling!

0
Cartoon
Parents of 21st century are groomed to believe that cartoons are great way to educate. So they introduce passive, one-way cartoons to children at very early age. And parents help kids to become addicted of the TV. Once the cartoon on TV becomes norms, cartoon goes and every other junk replaces it as kids grow. So teen-age kid will not only watch cartoon but also all junk.
 
Complete waste of potential minds.
 
We Indians have rich legacy of oral education culture. Real education and learning happen face to face, in human to human narration.
 
Humans simply aren’t moved to action by “data dumps,” dense PowerPoint slides, or spreadsheets packed with figures. People are moved by emotion. Results repeatedly show that our attitudes, fears, hopes, and values are strongly influenced by story. In fact, fiction seems to be more effective at changing beliefs than writing that is specifically designed to persuade through argument and evidence.
 
The psychologists Melanie Green and Tim Brock argue that entering fictional worlds “radically alters the way information is processed.” Green and Brock’s studies shows that the more absorbed readers are in a story, the more the story changes them. Highly absorbed readers also detected significantly fewer “false notes” in stories—inaccuracies, missteps—than less transported readers. Importantly, it is not just that highly absorbed readers detected the false notes and didn’t care about them (as when we watch a pleasurably idiotic action film). They were unable to detect the false notes in the first place.
 
So not only storytelling but which story you pick up is also critical. Take care.
 

Faulty Parenting leads to addictive tendency

0

Researchers at the University of Adelaide say addictive behaviour such as drug and alcohol abuse could be associated with poor development of the so-called “love hormone” system in our bodies during early childhood.[1]

Parenting

• Nuclear family structure,
• Frequently changing job locations and hence frequently changing neighborhoods,
• Lack of empathic teachers
• Lack of attachment with local culture, mother tongue
• Constant struggle between parents
• Parents – more attention for individual self-interest than child-interest or family-interest

All above contributes largely in lack of emotions and love relations for growing child

Result?

Addiction and abuse.
Solution?
Pause. Go back to your roots. Joint family. Stability over career growth. Time spent in searching quality food over time spent on entertainment.
Lot more to learn from your dead grandparents. Sooner, better.

Moment a thought process for child planning start to child’s upanayan samskar (age 6 to 12 – depending upon child’s capacity), all parents should aim for stability over personal achievements. At least, we can do this in our chaotic times


Research


 

[1]

Oxytocin in learning and addiction: From early discoveries to the present

http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0091305713003183

Abstract

Oxytocin (OXT) has a plethora of effects on brain function. This review provides a historical overview of the development of research on OXT and drug addiction. By focusing on research that has emerged from our laboratories, we describe how early discoveries of the influence of OXT on learning and memory processes and the emerging conceptualization of addiction as ‘pathological learning’ have contributed to the demonstration that OXT effectively attenuates long-term neuroadaptation related to opiate and psychostimulant addiction. Through integrating earlier evidence with recent discoveries of the social/affiliative role of OXT, we propose that OXT may interfere with reward and addiction by influencing neurobiological processes involved in stress, learning and memory and social/affiliative behavior.

Can ‘love hormone’ protect against addiction?

http://www.adelaide.edu.au/news/news69442.html

Researchers at the University of Adelaide say addictive behaviour such as drug and alcohol abuse could be associated with poor development of the so-called “love hormone” system in our bodies during early childhood.

The groundbreaking idea has resulted from a review of worldwide research into oxytocin, known as the “love hormone” or “bonding drug” because of its important role in enhancing social interactions, maternal behaviour and partnership.

This month’s special edition of the international journal Pharmacology, Biochemistry and Behavior deals with the current state of research linking oxytocin and addiction, and has been guest edited by Dr Femke Buisman-Pijlman from the University of Adelaide’s School of Medical Sciences.

Dr Buisman-Pijlman, who has a background in both addiction studies and family studies, says some people’s lack of resilience to addictive behaviours may be linked to poor development of their oxytocin systems.

“We know that newborn babies already have levels of oxytocin in their bodies, and this helps to create the all-important bond between a mother and her child. But our oxytocin systems aren’t fully developed when we’re born – they don’t finish developing until the age of three, which means our systems are potentially subject to a range of influences both external and internal,” Dr Buisman-Pijlman says.

She says the oxytocin system develops mainly based on experiences.

“The main factors that affect our oxytocin systems are genetics, gender and environment. You can’t change the genes you’re born with, but environmental factors play a substantial role in the development of the oxytocin system until our systems are fully developed,” Dr Buisman-Pijlman says.

“Previous research has shown that there is a high degree of variability in people’s oxytocin levels. We’re interested in how and why people have such differences in oxytocin, and what we can do about it to have a beneficial impact on people’s health and wellbeing,” she says.

Digital Family Time : Weapon to kill great future

DigitalDevices

We watch TV while child is sleeping in another room. We continue with our activities even when child is crying and seeking our attention. We are on whatsapp when child’s eyes seek our attention for their activities. All these sums up as neglect. Neglect means impaired brain development

Research shows that parents who use their smartphone to escape the stress of their child’s bad behavior may be making it worse

 

 

Do you think, this is great parenting style?

Take care! All our activities are secondary when a growing child demands attention! Not only our child, all children of near and dear ones!

I shared research here :  which concludes that Brain White Matter Changes Seen in Children Who Experience Neglect 

Here is the new research, talking more on it.


Research


Digital devices during family time could exacerbate bad behavior

Parents who spend a lot of time on their phones or watching television during family activities such as meals, playtime, and bedtime could influence their long-term relationships with their children. This is according to Brandon T. McDaniel of Illinois State University and Jenny S. Radesky of the University of Michigan Medical School, both in the US, who say so called “technoference” can lead children to show more frustration, hyperactivity, whining, sulking or tantrums. The study in the journal Pediatric Research, which is published by Springer Nature, examines the role and impact digital devices play in parenting and child behavior.

Technoference* is defined as everyday interruptions in face-to-face interactions because of technology devices. Recent studies estimate that parents use television, computers, tablets and smartphones for nine hours per day on average. A third of this time is spent on smartphones, which due to their portability are often used during family activities such as meals, playtime, and bedtime – all important times involved in shaping a child’s social-emotional wellbeing. When parents are on their devices research shows that they have fewer conversations with their children and are more hostile when their offspring try to get their attention.

In this study, 172 two-parent families (total of 337 parents) with a child age 5 years or younger answered online questionnaires as part of a research project about parenting and family relationships conducted between 2014 and 2016. Participants indicated how often per day different devices interrupted their conversations or activities with their children. Parents rated their child’s internalizing behavior such as how often they sulked or how easily their feelings were hurt, as well as their externalizing behavior, such as how angry or easily frustrated they were. The parents also reported on their own levels of stress and depression, the coparenting support they received from their partners, and their child’s screen media use.

In almost all cases, one device or more intruded in parent-child interactions at some stage during the day. Technology may serve as a refuge for parents who have to cope with difficult child behavior. However, the survey results showed that this tactic had its drawbacks. Electronic device use likely deprives parents of the opportunity to provide meaningful emotional support and positive feedback to their children which causes their offspring to revert to even more problematic behaviour such as throwing tantrums or sulking. This only added to parents’ stress levels, likely leading to more withdrawal with technology, and the cycle continues.

“These results support the idea that relationships between parent technoference and child externalizing behavior are transactional and influence each other over time,” says McDaniel. “In other words, parents who have children with more externalizing problems become more stressed, which may lead to their greater withdrawal with technology, which in turn may contribute to more child externalizing problems.”

https://www.springer.com/gp/about-springer/media/research-news/all-english-research-news/digital-devices-during-family-time-could-exacerbate-bad-behavior/15838792

Your kid, Mobile Screens and Delayed Motor skills development

0

gadgets

What will your kid do with Lego kit when he or she lacks primary motor skills?

This is alarming warning for parents who expose gadgets to kids in very early age (As early as 6 months!)

“Rising numbers of infants lack the motor skills needed to play with building blocks because of an “addiction” to tablet computers and smartphones, according to teachers.”

Your kids need maximum exposure to nature and not virtual farm. Understand this, sooner the better.

New link : https://www.telegraph.co.uk/education/educationnews/10767878/Infants-unable-to-use-toy-building-blocks-due-to-iPad-addiction.html

Infants ‘unable to use toy building blocks’ due to iPad addiction

The Association of Teachers and Lecturers warn that rising numbers of children are unable to perform simple tasks such as using building blocks because of overexposure to iPads

Those who sell technology to us, keep their children away from technology!

News link: https://www.nytimes.com/2011/10/23/technology/at-waldorf-school-in-silicon-valley-technology-can-wait.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0

A Silicon Valley School That Doesn’t Compute

The chief technology officer of eBay sends his children to a nine-classroom school here. So do employees of Silicon Valley giants like Google, Apple, Yahoo and Hewlett-Packard.

But the school’s chief teaching tools are anything but high-tech: pens and paper, knitting needles and, occasionally, mud. Not a computer to be found. No screens at all. They are not allowed in the classroom, and the school even frowns on their use at home.

Schools nationwide have rushed to supply their classrooms with computers, and many policy makers say it is foolish to do otherwise. But the contrarian point of view can be found at the epicenter of the tech economy, where some parents and educators have a message: computers and schools don’t mix.

Role of Eye contacts in parenting

Most parents in this era are occupied , even when they are at home. They hooked to either laptop or mobile or TV. While they are hooked to gadgets, they continue doing conversations with family members, including kids. And then they claim spending good amount of time with family and kids.

When the adult and infant are looking at each other, they are signalling their availability and intention to communicate with each other

Really?What is missing here? Is it quality time?

Eye contact is missing. It is reduced. Major flaw in imparting संस्कार! There is no brain to brain connection! There is no mind-mind connection! Shallow conversations don’t transfer

 

Eye gazing


Research


 

Eye contact with your baby helps synchronise your brainwaves

http://www.cam.ac.uk/research/news/eye-contact-with-your-baby-helps-synchronise-your-brainwaves

When a parent and infant interact, various aspects of their behaviour can synchronise, including their gaze, emotions and heartrate, but little is known about whether their brain activity also synchronises – and what the consequences of this might be.

Brainwaves reflect the group-level activity of millions of neurons and are involved in information transfer between brain regions. Previous studies have shown that when two adults are talking to each other, communication is more successful if their brainwaves are in synchrony.

Researchers at the Baby-LINC Lab at the University of Cambridge carried out a study to explore whether infants can synchronise their brainwaves to adults too – and whether eye contact might influence this. Their results are published today in the Proceedings of National Academy of Sciences (PNAS).

The team examined the brainwave patterns of 36 infants (17 in the first experiment and 19 in the second) using electroencephalography (EEG), which measures patterns of brain electrical activity via electrodes in a skull cap worn by the participants. They compared the infants’ brain activity to that of the adult who was singing nursery rhymes to the infant.

In the first of two experiments, the infant watched a video of an adult as she sang nursery rhymes. First, the adult – whose brainwave patterns had already been recorded – was looking directly at the infant. Then, she turned her head to avert her gaze, while still singing nursery rhymes. Finally, she turned her head away, but her eyes looked directly back at the infant.

As anticipated, the researchers found that infants’ brainwaves were more synchronised to the adults’ when the adult’s gaze met the infant’s, as compared to when her gaze was averted Interestingly, the greatest synchronising effect occurred when the adults’ head was turned away but her eyes still looked directly at the infant. The researchers say this may be because such a gaze appears highly deliberate, and so provides a stronger signal to the infant that the adult intends to communicate with her.

In the second experiment, a real adult replaced the video. She only looked either directly at the infant or averted her gaze while singing nursery rhymes. This time, however, her brainwaves could be monitored live to see whether her brainwave patterns were being influenced by the infant’s as well as the other way round.

This time, both infants and adults became more synchronised to each other’s brain activity when mutual eye contact was established. This occurred even though the adult could see the infant at all times, and infants were equally interested in looking at the adult even when she looked away. The researchers say that this shows that brainwave synchronisation isn’t just due to seeing a face or finding something interesting, but about sharing an intention to communicate.

To measure infants’ intention to communicate, the researcher measured how many ‘vocalisations’ infants made to the experimenter. As predicted, infants made a greater effort to communicate, making more ‘vocalisations’, when the adult made direct eye contact – and individual infants who made longer vocalisations also had higher brainwave synchrony with the adult.

Speaker gaze increases information coupling between infant and adult brains

https://www.biorxiv.org/content/early/2017/11/24/108878

Abstract

When infants and adults communicate, they exchange social signals of availability and communicative intention such as eye gaze. Previous research indicates that when communication is successful, close temporal dependencies arise between adult speakers’ and listeners’ neural activity. However, it is not known whether similar neural contingencies exist within adult-infant dyads. Here, we used dual-electroencephalography to assess whether direct gaze increases neural coupling between adults and infants during screen-based and live interactions. In Experiment 1 (N=17), infants viewed videos of an adult who was singing nursery rhymes with (a) Direct gaze (looking forward); (b) Indirect gaze (head and eyes averted by 20 degrees); or (c) Direct-Oblique gaze (head averted but eyes orientated forward). In Experiment 2 (N=19), infants viewed the same adult in a live context, singing with Direct or Indirect gaze. Gaze-related changes in adult-infant neural network connectivity were measured using Partial Directed Coherence. Across both experiments, the adult had a significant (Granger)-causal influence on infants’ neural activity, which was stronger during Direct and Direct-Oblique gaze relative to Indirect gaze. During live interactions, infants also influenced the adult more during Direct than Indirect gaze. Further, infants vocalised more frequently during live Direct gaze, and individual infants who vocalized longer also elicited stronger synchronisation from the adult. These results demonstrate that direct gaze strengthens bi-directional adult-infant neural connectivity during communication. Thus, ostensive social signals could act to bring brains into mutual temporal alignment, creating a joint-networked state that is structured to facilitate information transfer during early communication and learning.

Popular Posts

My Favorites

Baby Walkers : Unsafe and Growth limiting luxury

Two things are happening in India that controls parenting actions. 1) Increasing middle income group 2) Cheap toys dumping by China On top of it,...