Parenting

Parenting

You want your kid become super hero?Do you live in community?

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superhero

All parents want their children to become superhero. At least better than them. Sometimes, they want their children to pursue their own out of reach dreams. In short, parents spend maximum efforts behind own children. And majority of them fail.

That’s where we misunderstand parenting. Parenting is community duty. We should parent, not only our child, but also parent other children in society. Child needs multiple mentors for overall development. You and your family are not sufficient. Mentors are not school teachers. Mother Nature first rank of mentor. Your best friends, maternal uncle/aunt, paternal uncle/aunt, all relative grands and you two – they represent second line of mentors. His/her friends are third. Teachers next.

Think about it. Experiment.

पुत्रगोष्ठी – Making of Ganesa and Essential Life Lessons

Ganesa

One thing I always followed in my relation with my son : Never enforce anything. Nothing. Let there be demonstration, slow and steady exposure to idea and concept. Give enough time and space for digestion.

He is 5+ now. More observations, varied questions. For last 5 years, he did not demand to establish Ganesa Vigrah at home. He enjoyed visiting different pandals and observe shapes and sizes.

This year too. Day 1 went into visiting relatives and friends sthapana. But in evening, there was question : Why not at our home?

Day2 : We started with our first attempt to give shape to our Ganesa. What did we use? We collected clay from the shore of Maa Narmada few months back.

What is planned for day 3 : Give appropriate colors so that a divide vigraha emerge from it. And yes, don’t fall in modern trap of calling it Idol or Statue! This is Vigraha(विग्रह). मूर्तिसे देवता स्थापन! तत्त्व स्थापन! जल स्थापन, पृथ्वी तत्त्वसे!

Day 4  to Day 10 : We will recite and memorize गणपति अथर्वशीर्ष. We will observe and note down different forms and their characteristics. And this will continue for next 5 years.


You may bring most beautiful vigrah at home but don’t miss to prepare one at home by self. Your involvement. Family’s involvement. Your vigrah is your prana representation. Reflection of your muladhar.
 
This (गणेश चतुर्थी to अनंत चतुर्दशी) is the open window of the year where mother nature naturally allow you get rid of excessive toxins built during varsha ritu due to मन्दाग्नि(low digestive fire with uncontrolled food habits).
 
1) Food during this time will help. Modak and Kheer, pomegranate
2) Devotion to Shri Ganesa will help. गणपति अथर्वशीर्ष
3) Spending time with clay will definitely help as it is पृथ्वी तत्त्व’s trait to absorb toxins from body. Plus, vigraha making yields concentration and attentive mind, result is observed in body cleansing. Stabilize Vata prakop.
 
Your imperfections in vigraha making will inspire you to correct the foundation. Foundation is in learning different art forms.
 
There is interesting conversation between King Vajra and Sage Markendya in Vishnudharmottara Purana about it.
 
King Vajra wants to learn art of Idol making.
He seeks guidance from Sage Markendya.
And Sage prescribes him to learn following art in sequence to become master of Idol creator.
 
Vocal music (Reciting Vedas) => Instrumental Music => Natya Shashtra => Chitra Kala (Painting in 2D) => Becoming sculptor
In short, it is important to realize cosmos, to express it so potently so that seekers can connect with God by concentrating on divine play captured in Idol.

 

पुत्रगोष्ठी – He taught me devotion, simplified

devotion

Generally, I don’t really need to open refrigerator as there is no such need 🙂 But for a change, I opened it Today evening. And what do I find?

I asked my wife with astonishment, :”What is this?”

“Ask your son! This is his act.”

I summoned my son.

“Kathan, please come here. What is this?”

“Oh..this! 🙂 Pappa, this is temple.”

“Temple?”

“Yes.”

“Why in fridge?”

“You once said that God’s Murti and picture are alive. If they are alive, they deserve the same treatment or better than us. If we use fan or AC, they too need it, right? That is why I installed my God, Shri Krushn here. He will sleep here and during day, he will be in temple.”

Speechless. People often talk about being like a child. And they often capture only one aspect of childhood. Being childish…acting mindlessly. But if there is something important to learn from kids, it is their devotion and faith.Highest level of sincerity and devotion are two primary aspects of हनुमान अवस्था. Kids are always in Hanuman state. It is this factor of childhood, being more प्राणवान like Hanuman and remain devoted and faithful to center of attraction.

Bhakti is essential for achievement of Karma(Yajna, selfless devotion for Nation and Culture) mentioned in Gita. Not so long ago, this land had witnessed many examples proving this point. In fact, they are the only examples where native culture could survive against foreign oppression.

Children must learn this factor of life. Unfortunately, arrogant parents educated in leftist liberal education, mar this innocence of kids and make them ruthless zombies from childhood. If not Istha Murti, your kid will succumb to cartoon. It is inevitable.

What is Bhakti anyway?

Human = Cognition + Feeling + Will
Human = Knowledge + Devotion + Action
Human = ज्ञान+ उपासना + कर्म

Devotion gives powerful hint about Bhakti. Devotion towards God. Devotion towards self. Devotion towards all living and non-living beings. Devotion for own karma. Devotion to Society. Devotion to dharma-sustenance. Devotion to Nation. For example, we call राष्ट्र-भक्ति which means Devotion towards Nation (and there is well known राष्ट्र-सूक्त in Rigveda).

Read more :

Bhakti : Unfaltering devotion

पुत्रगोष्ठी – The Foam Mystery of the wild in the backyard

This is my conversation with 5 years old son. His learning diary. Old posts can be read here : http://prachodayat.in/category/kathan-diary/ or on Facebook tag https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/kathandiary?source=feed_text

Foam

During last Sunday’s tree plantation drive, we found several flowers. They were new to Kathan. Since last Monday, we focused on target-oriented morning sessions. Our goal was to explore weeds’ flowers in the wild. Everyday, we come home with new set of flowers.

One day, we observed something interesting.

“Pappa! Look at here! This plant is vomiting!”

“What? Plant and vomit? Let me see. Oh there is some foam on this plant!”

“Just like how soap foam is created during bath!? Can I take it on hand?”

“No..don’t touch for now. Let us observe it further!”

“Why this foam here? Did someone bath here?”

“lol! Good question! Let us find out. Let’s do one thing. Let’s come here again tomorrow. We will observe for some more time.”

“Ok.”

—–Second day——

“Pappa! Look at there! Same foam but on different plant!”

“Oh yes! That means, it is not just one plant! Then what is it? Interesting!”

“Is someone throwing foam here or..is it due to rain?”

“No dear. Look closely. It is on specific branches of plant. And on specific plants. Not all plants. Humans or rain can’t achieve such perfection. Must be some bird or animal or insect.”

“You find out from office!”

“ok!”

—- Same day evening——

“Kathan!! It is indeed insect! It is nest for this insect. Look at the video!”

“Wow!! Nest?”

“Yes! These insects are common on plants who can imbibe more and more nitrogen from soil. And they are because soil as more nitrogen due to chemical farming in adjacent famrs. This insect sap food from plant while baby-insects grow!”

“woow! But pappa…one more question! What is this chemical word? What all things can be considered as chemical!”

“Very good question! Let’s discuss is some other time. Add it in your list of queries!”

———————————-

“પપ્પા, અહી આવો! જુઓ આ શું છે! આ છોડ ઉલટી કરે છે!”

“શું? છોડ અને ઉલટી? લાવ જોવા દે તો! ઓહો…આ છોડ પર ફીણ? આ ઉલટી નથી..કંઇક ફીણ જેવું છે.”

“સાબુનું ફીણ થાય છે એવું? હાથમાં લઉં?”

“હા એવું જ પણ હાથમાં ના લઈશ.”

“પણ આવું કેમ છે? અહી કોઈ નાહવા બેઠું હશે?”

“હા હા :D! સરસ પ્રશ્ન!મારે પણ જાણવું પડશે. એક કામ કરીએ..કાલે ફરી આવી ને જોઇશ..થોડો વધારે સમય લઈને નિરીક્ષણ કરીશું!”

“સારું!”

—- બીજા દિવસે——–

“પપ્પા! જુઓ જુઓ! આ એકજ છોડ પર નથી..અલગ અલગ છોડ પર છે!”

“અરે હા! એટલે એ આ માત્ર એક છોડ પુરતું નથી! તો શું હોઈ શકે?”

“કોઈ માણસે સાબુનું ફીણ ફેંક્યું હોય?કે પછી વરસાદ પડવાથી થયું હોય?”

“હોઈ શકે! પણ ધ્યાનથી જો બેટા…એ માત્ર છોડની અમુક ડાળી પર જ છે. જો વરસાદકે બીજા કોઈએ માણસે કર્યું હોય તો આટલું ચીવટતા થી ન થઇ શકે! મને લાગે છે…કોઈ પક્ષી કે જીવડું હોઈ શકે.”

“પપ્પા…કાલે શોધી લાવજો!”

—- એ દિવસે સાંજે———

“કથન! પેલા ફીણનો જવાબ મળી ગયો!”

“ઓહો!! બોલો બોલો જલ્દી!!”

“એક જીવડું છે! એનો એ માળો છે!”

“માળો?”

“હા એમાંથી એના બચ્ચા નીકળશે! આ જીવડું એવાજ છોડ પર થાયકે જ્યાં જમીનમાં કેમિકલ ખેતીના કારણે Nitrogen વધારે હોય! જો આ વિડીઓ!”

“ઓહો! કેટલા સરસ છે…પણ પપ્પા..નવો પ્રશ્ન! આ કેમિકલ શું છે!”

“સુંદર! એના પર ફરી ક્યારેક! 🙂 ”


Age 10 and below is the age to cultivate observation skills. Insects and weeds are unknown areas for modern schooling curriculum. Hardly any focus on it. But if we don’t expose it to kids, they will never realize system aspect of nature. Role of everyone into mother nature. Nothing is useless – is difficult to grasp developed urban mind.

And foam is not only possible in soap or the soap-toy! Such foam in wild was wealth earned for this little mind. This is possible when we could spend more time with kids in nature. Time well spent in observations and projects.

Our journey to explore wild flowers is continuing. Will share more on it once the project is over.

Some old articles on Weeds and the lesson I wish to teach my son:

Mother nature provides common sense sensors and we run to lab for soil testing with soil health card 😉

Technological arrogance vs Sensible observations

Later is win-win situation.

Weeds were never useless. Those who consider them useless are actually useless.”

Monsoon and Weeds

Crops can do their own weed control

Embracing Weeds: Holistic Agriculture

 

Parent? Go back to jungle or send kids to forest-school (गुरुकुल)

ForestGurukul

GUT microbes is a buzz-word in medical fraternity of western world. It is welcome sign as they are unlearning useless DNA dogma and mindless antibiotic treatment practices.

In Bharat(India), child development is intervened in वर्णाश्रम धर्म. Everyone was following it 100 years back. And it was very reason why we were never worried about health by minor details like GUT microbes.

वर्ण & आश्रम were potent tools to take care and nurture पंचकोशीय बंधारण. As soon as you hit the age of Upanayan, you are sent to forest for learning. It is very essential.

In many countries, they are shifting schools to forest. Forest-school is growing concept in finland, japan and US. (Google it to know  more).

Our गुरुकुल शिक्षण happened in forest. Forest and cows were prerequisites. Both act as प्राणवर्धक & प्राण-संवर्धन.

When GUT-microbes of growing kids are not taken care (unfortunately, me and many in my generations missed it. Present generation of urban kids are missing it. Present generation of rural kids also miss it due to urban influence but they are still in good position compare to urban kids), adult life is miserable, feeble and weak.

Why Worry about Children’s GUT health?

The role of gut microbiota in early life and its impact on gut health and subsequent diseases remain unclear. There is a lack of research and awareness in this area, especially in the Asia‐Pacific region, including Malaysia. This paper reports the position of a Malaysian Working Group on some key issues surrounding gut microbiota in early life and its role in gut health and diseases, as well as experts’ stand on probiotics and prebiotics. The group reached a consensus that certain factors, including elective caesarean; premature deliveries; complementary feeding; use of antibiotics, prebiotics and/or probiotics; and exposure to the external environmental, have an impact on gut microbiota in early life. However, as evidence is lacking, especially from the Asia‐Pacific region, further studies are needed to understand how gut microbiota in early life affects subsequent diseases, including allergy, inflammatory bowel disease, obesity and infantile colic. Lastly, although beneficial in acute diarrhoeal disease and probably allergic eczema, probiotics (and/or prebiotics) should be used cautiously in other gut dysbiotic conditions until more data are available.

https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/jpc.13640

Check the GUT microbe-perspective.

Answer hints for

  1. Why forest based gurukul for age 7 to 16
  2. Why cows in school?
  3. Why even naturalized urban school garden is not enough?

Research


Switching from an Urban to Hunter-Gatherer Lifestyle may Increase Diversity in Children’s Gut Microbes

An international team of researchers has shown that immersing city dwellers in the traditional lifestyle and diet of a rainforest village for two weeks increases the diversity of the visiting children’s—but not the adults’—gut microbiota. In a small pilot study published this week in mSphere®, an open-access journal of the American Society for Microbiology, the team shows that the immersion visit did little to shift the adults’ skin, oral, nasal and fecal microbiota.

“We wanted to look at the question of whether microbiota change during a drastic, radical change of diet and lifestyle,” says Maria Gloria Dominguez-Bello, a microbial ecologist at Rutgers University in New Brunswick, New Jersey who led the study with microbiologist Monica Contreras from the Venezuelan Institute of Scientific Research. “In this village, there was no market economy, no bodega, no Coca-Cola—so this represented a radical shift in diet from a high percentage of processed foods in urban places to zero processed foods and an all-natural diet.”

Dominguez-Bello, along with researchers from New York University and two Venezuelan institutes, took advantage of a visit planned by five, city-dwelling adult visitors—and two of their children—to live among an indigenous Yekwana village in the Bolivar State of Venezuela for 16 days. The village has a hunter-gatherer-gardener lifestyle and diet.

Typical fare includes cassava (a starchy, high-fiber tuber), corn, various wild fruits, including plantains, pineapples, and berries, fish, and small amounts of game meat and eggs gathered from wild birds. Visitors had two meals a day that consisted of soup with a bit of fish or meat. The rest of their diet consisted of “all-day snacking on cassava with fruit” says Dominguez-Bello. The visitors also bathed in the river without soap and followed the natural circadian rhythms of their hosts.

“The diet contains very little animal protein and it’s very, very high in fiber and very low in fat,” compared to Western diets, says Dominguez-Bello.

While it is known that people with traditional diets have higher gut microbiota diversity compared to those with urban diets, it was unknown if urban dwellers could shift the diversity of their microbiota higher simply by following a traditional lifestyle and diet. In the gut, a high diversity of microbes is considered a sign of good health.

Traditional people eat diets rich in unprocessed plant material, which are much more chemically complex compared to processed foods. The smorgasbord of chemicals acts as fuel for a higher variety of microbes. Traditional people use less antimicrobial medicines and compounds in daily life, which might also contribute to their increased gut microbe diversity.

During the 16-day visit, the researchers collected samples from the visitors’ skin, mouth, nose, and from a fecal swab. Age-matched samples were also collected from villagers. The samples were sequenced and compared.

Surprisingly, none of the adult visitors’ microbiota shifted significantly during the visit, while the two children’s gut microbiota trended toward a higher number of total microbial species present. Although these results were not statistically significant and in just two subjects, the researchers saw this as interesting nonetheless, given the children’s ages of 4 and 7.

Up to now, it was thought that children’s gut microbiota become stable and more ‘adult-like’ by the time they reach 3 years of age. “This indicates that the window for maturing your microbiome may not be 3 years of age, but longer,” says Dominguez-Bello. Her team plans to do a larger study with 12 children participating in an “immersion summer camp” to a traditional village.

Because the children’s gut microbiota exhibited more plasticity, these results raise an interesting possibility that urban children who eat a more traditional, high-fiber, low-fat and low-processed diet early in life might cultivate a more diverse set of gut microbes. Conversely, adults may have a limited response due to their low microbiome plasticity.

Dominguez-Bello was not terribly surprised that the adults’ gut and other microbiota changed so little: “If you take traditional people and bring them to New York, give them antibiotics and McDonald’s to eat everyday, it’s not surprising that they lose diversity,” she says. “But if, as an urban dweller, you’ve already lost that gut microbe diversity and you move to a high-diversity diet, maybe you cannot ‘bloom’ diversity because you simply don’t have those microbes present anymore.”

https://www.asm.org/index.php/newsroom/item/7458-switching-from-an-urban-to-hunter-gatherer-lifestyle-may-increase-diversity-in-children-s-gut-microbes

Season driven common Sense : Out of Syllabus

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Commonsense

Does your kid’s school teach local language phrases, popular cliches and poems? Do they teach Gujarati calendar? (They don’t. On the other hand, they teach rhymes written for European culture :D. What a cultural tragedy! )

Does you kid learn same from grand parents? (Difficult as grand parents are also brainwashed by same education system)

What do they miss? Essential life event markers. Common sense.

For example:

શ્રાવણ માસે કાકડી,ભાદરવાની છાસ,
તુરિયાનું સેવન કરે,તાવ કરે ઘરવાસ.
(Translation: Those who eat cucumber in Sravan month(July-Aug), butter milk in bhadarva month(Aug-Sep), and turiyu during monsoon (June-July-Aug-Sept), invites fever (Viral/Bacterial))

ઉની ઉની રોટલીને કારેલાનું શાક.
(Translation: During monsoon, eat fresh and hot chapati with
squirting cucumber shabji)

” મૂળા, મોગરી, ગાજર, બોર, રાતે ખાય તે નિશ્ચે ઢોર…!”
(Translation: Those who eat vegetables like carrot,radish pods,jujube etc in dinner, are dumb animals!)

Now since we, and our kids are kept aloof from this common sense, we will eat anything and everything in all seasons! Like animals! Murder of common sense!

Why do you pay so high fees to schools who cannot even impart common sense? 😀 😀 I will rather prefer not to send my kid to such school. If school is failure, why do you wait? Why can’t you cut your time spent behind mindless entertainment and divert it to learn common sense?

Think about it. If we embrace common sense taught by local culture, we can save billions of medical bills every year.

Solution:
1) Keep your child connected to mother tongue. Always speak in your mother tongue at home
2) Do not ignore your grand parents common sense advice
3) Get connected with sources from where you can upgrade your common sense

पुत्रगोष्ठी – Parenting for trees

This is my conversation with 5 years old son. His learning diary. Old posts can be read here : http://prachodayat.in/category/kathan-diary/ or on Facebook tag https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/kathandiary?source=feed_text

Scar_1

“Pappa, what exactly Anil dada (Granfather’s friend and tree lover) asked you to for trees recently planted on divider?”

“He asked to take care of them.”

“What kind of care? Monsoon is going on. Water is everywhere. ”

“Water is not enough. If it was forest, we really don’t need to take care of trees as such. Mother nature takes care of them but since we (or civic authority) plant trees in urban area, we need to take care of them like how we take care of you. Let’s go to the main road. I will show you.”

“Can you this scar? See, here.”

“Yes.”

“This is what we need to prevent. We don’t want trees to die prematurely by such fatal injuries.”

“Why do they get such scars? Can’t we plant properly.”

“Yes, we can plant them properly but since they are here in open, in public place, they are prone to chaos. Even wind will change their position. We need to take care of them till the roots are strong and stable.”

“How can we avoid it?”

“We will put a support so that they don’t rest on iron protector around them. Support will allow them to grow straight.”

“Let’s take a संकल्प pappa! We will take care of all trees on this road!”

“Sure, beta! We will. Every morning, 3 trees! Deal?”

“Deal!”

“Remember, the way we provide these trees support, in life, never hesitate your support to needy. That is the purpose of our life! It is always govt or official’s duty to take care needy! We must act as mature society and uplift to be more powerful!”

“Really?”

“Yes! Imagine how strong these trees will turn after 10 years.”

“I will take care!”

Morning well spent in यज्ञ.

ParentingCAre

WhatsApp Image 2018-08-25 at 8.46.55 AM WhatsApp Image 2018-08-25 at 8.46.56 AM

 

 

Criminal Parents

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criminalparents

A child with criminal and jailed parents (one or both) is unfortunate.

A child with criminal and always engaged with laptop/phone parents (one of both) is doubly unfortunate.

Both children suffer lack of parenting. Both children grow with stress of being ignored.

It’s not just kids who are overdoing screen time. Parents are often just as guilty of spending too much time checking smartphones and e-mail — and the consequences for their children can be troubling.

If you bring children of both criminals in jail and over-zealot techno-crazy parents to the psychiatrist, you will same psychological stress. Try it.

Take care. Stop nonsense device usage as soon as your kid demand attention. ZERO TOLERANCE.


Research


https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2014/04/21/304196338/for-the-childrens-sake-put-down-that-smartphone

For The Children’s Sake, Put Down That Smartphone

It’s not just kids who are overdoing screen time. Parents are often just as guilty of spending too much time checking smartphones and e-mail — and the consequences for their children can be troubling.

Dr. Jenny Radesky is a pediatrician specializing in child development. When she worked at a clinic in a high-tech savvy Seattle neighborhood, Radesky started noticing how often parents ignored their kids in favor of a mobile device. She remembers a mother placing her phone in the stroller between herself and the baby. “The baby was making faces and smiling at the mom,” Radesky says, “and the mom wasn’t picking up any of it; she was just watching a YouTube video.”


https://consumer.healthday.com/kids-health-information-23/child-development-news-124/when-smartphone-is-near-parenting-may-falter-685577.html

When Smartphone Is Near, Parenting May Falter

Study found many caregivers focused on devices instead of children

 

When Smartphone Is Near, Parenting May Falter

Study found many caregivers focused on devices instead of children

Please note: This article was published more than one year ago. The facts and conclusions presented may have since changed and may no longer be accurate. And “More information” links may no longer work. Questions about personal health should always be referred to a physician or other health care professional.

 

MONDAY, March 10, 2014 (HealthDay News) — Mealtime is supposed to be family time, but a new study suggests that ever-present smartphones are impeding parent-child communication at the table.

Researchers who observed more than 50 family-type groups eating out found a significant number of adults were preoccupied with their smartphones.

“We know from decades of research that face-to-face interactions are important for cognitive, language and emotional development. Before mobile devices existed, mealtime would’ve been a time where we would’ve seen those interactions,” said study author Dr. Jenny Radesky, a fellow in developmental-behavioral pediatrics at Boston Medical Center.

It’s unclear how much of an impact parents’ smartphone use will ultimately have on a child’s development, and whether that effect will have a negative, positive or neutral impact, said the researchers.

One basic thing that may be affected is child vocabulary, said Dr. Rahil Briggs, director of pediatric behavioral health services at Montefiore Medical Center in New York City. “The single most powerful predictor of a child’s vocabulary is conversations with the child. Dinnertime is an important time for those conversations, and if you’re absorbed with your phone, that’s a lost opportunity.”

Briggs added that social, emotional and conversational skills might also be affected if parents spend too much time looking at their phones and other media.

“What really concerned me was those children who appeared to accept this lack of engagement. It seemed like they’d given up,” noted Briggs, who wasn’t involved with the research.

Cartoonized Scriptural characters : Alienate mass further, away from dharma

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cartoon

Fundamental fact we establish by Bhim or Krishna as cartoon is: they were imaginary character and we cannot emerge like them. Limiting possibilities of children. Restrict imagination of self.

when we read them real Bhim from Mahabharat, their alert minds start imaging Bhim character and you never know…they may transform their strengths into real Bhim or real Arjun…cartoons are waste of time.

What do you expect from a society who is fed their roots (Ramayana, Mahabhrata, Gita) by shallow and trivial representation of Television serials?

Shallow character and mediocre morals. Unfortunate that many kids know Mahabharat by shallow TV cartoons.

Mahabharata was not written for triviality. Purpose can best served if you get chance to listen it from your parents, well wishers and Guru. Rare happening in family now. Cartoons can produce at the best mockery of the character.

 

Playing with kids without self-interest

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How can someone play with kids for self interest? It just happens to be natural thing to any organism?

On surface, it may not look like a selfish act but when you see deeper, this is how it is supported:

Most of us play with kids for own self-interest. Short term self interest is to get relief from career stress. Long term self-interest is the expectation of kid taking care of you in old age.

Selfish acts does not serve the benefits well.

Try selfless play. Play is very critical for child growth.

Societies and tribes whom you consider barbaric, know the child development much better than us! Learn from them! I loved this pic very much! Showing the selfless play!

Image may contain: 1 person, sitting and child

Read more:

Child Development is an essential social forestry (सामाजिक वनीकरण)

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