Parenting

Parenting

Role Model Crisis : Shallow Actors vs Real Achievers?

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RoleModel

“Oh your daughter looks like Kangana!!”
“You son dances like Hritik!”

In social circle, you often find friends and relatives praising your kids by comparing with actors! We feel great and demand dance or singing song from toddlers! 🙁
 
If you praise someone by comparing their look to shallow-hollow Bollywood/Cricket public figures, note that you are suffering from cheap Bollywood/Cricket mania.
 
Can’t you see anything more than face value?
 
Bravery, audacity, intelligence, steadfastness – no value? How shallow!
 
If you compare your kids with stupid actors, you are villain for them as you limit their growth prospects. Don’t do these crimes!
 
One of the traits of देवत्व , as per Panini sutra (देव -> धातु दिवु is क्रीडाविजिगीषाव्यवहारद्युतिस्तुतिमोदमदस्वप्नकान्तिगतिषु),is स्तुति – The one who can praise others(humans, animals, nature) genuinely is DEVA (Genuine praise is very vital part of positive psychology! Those who have studied HR subjects, must be knowing this)
 
If you want to praise someone, tell him that his/her concentration is like Vivekanand, his/her love for nation is like Subhashchandra bose and his/her conviction is like Bhagatsingh!
 
Can’t we find better role model than cheap actors/cricketers for your kids???

Environment, Not Genes: Effect of Early childhood on Adult Genes variations

EarlyLife

It is after modern science dogma of gene-driven life, we Indians started ignoring real factors affecting our life. All factors summarize as one word “Environment”.

Early life experiences influence DNA in the adult brain

 

Modern education is designed to inject ideas and philosophy of church. So superficial that we start ignoring impact of environment on our self.

Very popular Chanalya’s verse suggest how environment during childhood plays critical role in adult life.

लालयेत् पंचवर्षाणि दशवर्षाणि ताडयेत्। प्राप्ते तु षोडशे वर्षे पुत्रं मित्रवदाचरेत्॥

पुत्र का पांच वर्ष तक लालन करे । दस वर्ष तक ताड़न करे । सोलहवां वर्ष लग जाने पर उसके साथ मित्र के समान व्यवहार करना चाहिए ।

First 5 years at home. Next 10 years in resident school. 16+ in society where he or she will have to face the संसार!

Why? Because first 5 years (in fact first 6 years, before conception to age 5) is the time when maximum neuronal networks are developed. In next 10 years, there will be many associations made among neurons. All based on your experience and environment!

“We are taught that our DNA is something stable and unchanging which makes us who we are, but in reality it’s much more dynamic,” says Rusty Gage, a professor in Salk’s Laboratory of Genetics. “It turns out there are genes in your cells that are capable of copying themselves and moving around, which means that, in some ways, your DNA does change.”

What type of resident school?

A place full of trees and water bodies! Best in the laps of mother nature, on the banks of flowing river, surrounded by sacred grove! It is this time of the life which will help build best possible body and mind!

Not only this, we also believe in Sanskar(s). Mental environment and cure. We all take birth with past life’s karma storage and mental tendencies. Sanskar(s) help to purify child.

Here are the old notes on impact of terrain and region on intellect:

Importance of Sanskar

Prana-Apana , Grains and Sanskar

हनुमान तत्व & ब्रह्मचर्याश्रम

GEOGRAPHY and Cognitive Development link

Wetland , Intellectuals, Brahmi

Now, read this latest research and get rid of modern fake dogma of gene-driven life. It is always environment-driven life.


Research


Early life experiences influence DNA in the adult brain

www.salk.edu/news-release/early-developmental-experiences-influence-dna-in-the-adult-brain/

For at least a decade, scientists have known that most cells in the mammalian brain undergo changes to their DNA that make each neuron, for example, slightly different from its neighbor. Some of these changes are caused by “jumping” genes—officially known as long interspersed nuclear elements (LINEs)—that move from one spot in the genome to another. In 2005, the Gage lab discovered that a jumping gene called L1, which was already known to copy and paste itself into new places in the genome, could jump in developing neuronal brain cells.

The team had hypothesized that such changes create potentially helpful diversity among brain cells, fine-tuning function, but might also contribute to neuropsychiatric conditions.

“While we’ve known for a while that cells can acquire changes to their DNA, it’s been speculated that maybe it’s not a random process,” says Tracy Bedrosian, a former Salk research associate and first author of the study. “Maybe there are factors in the brain or in the environment that cause changes to happen more or less frequently.”

Cook for Kids, cook for God : Most Sacred Duty

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CookForKids

One friend said in private message after reading this post(https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10153519016694762):

“you said right that fast food is dangerous but do we really have alternative? Kids go to school and learn new food habits. We simply cannot control it.”

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Well then what we parents are for? If schools spoil the habits, take actions. Be part of parenting fraternity. Awake fellow parents. Take seminars on fast food in schools. Awake fellow students of your kids. There is no free lunch. You have to pay the price for your lethargy being a parent. Don’t be so helpless. If kid is picking bad habits from some source, work on it. That is your duty as a parents.

And about alternative, we have many homemade food to replace filthy fast food. Yes, you will have to spend some time in kitchen for it. Do it. Sacrifice your cricket match, movie and weekend getaway and spend time in kitchen. Best if you can involve kids.

For example: Sukhadi. It is best alternative for both chocolates and biscuits. Rich in nutrients and delicious! Enough for growing kids never ending energy needs.

Our cultural diversity is rich enough for finding alternatives. Put some efforts. Be an active parent. (I am also trying to be one).

If there is a will, there is a way. Experiment instead surrendering to the environment. (Y)

Seeds of corrupt society in ignored parenting

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21st-century-orphans

Ignore giving moral and strength inducing education to 8 year old and the Nation pays for your stupid mistake for next 60 years till your beloved son lives.

Lack of morals and ethics -> Cunning and opportunistic youth -> Coward and delusional Adult

Destroy growth of ब्रह्मचर्य (Youth below 25) -> गृहस्थी will collapse and struggle to sustain life and in that struggle, they will become corrupt and when same गृहस्थी would turn वानप्रस्थी, he is already tired so he will remain passive वानप्रस्थी.

If all retired citizens, 60+ of age, meet and take up mission against Govt. There is nothing to lose but surely many things to win!

One must understand his/her duty in वानप्रस्थ आश्रम.

Alas! Our old age guys are busy in time pass, recalling their golden time, old time movies and all… or they are too weak and powerlees in old age homes…or they have not yet retired and harassing their children in their businesses…

Gadget Meal – New style of parenting

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EAtingwithGadget

If you have formed this habit of forcing kid to demand screen while eating, STOP it now! Find alternative. This is example of careless and lazy parenting.

1) Kids already have short attention spans. Having TV along with meal further divides it. Lesser focus on meal -> Indigestion
2) Kids learn unwanted human habits from advertisements. You shape their consumer habit.
3) They pick up unnecessary products targeted to them
4) Visuals limit imagination instead enhancing it.

Stop it. If at all needed, you sing a song or enact a scene! Don’t take shortcuts and ruin your kid’s future.

Fear-led supplements vs Life-loving wholesome food

wholesome

There are 3 ways ahead if you are nutrient deficient.
 
1) Local wholesome food
2) Exotic non-local food (non-veg in grassland)
3) Supplements
 
Only first one is non-destructive, self-sustaining, totally healthy.
 
In second model, there is a chance of contraindications as it is not your native food. If not short term, surely long term old-age issues.
 
Third one is mere placebo. You spend money and get no real benefits except few cases like folic acid. You also create digestive track torture due to extra digestion of chemicals!

In a well-nourished child with a properly functioning immune system, viral infections are typically subclinical or exceedingly mild. Malnourishment, in particular vitamin A deficiency, is a primary cause of poor outcomes. One of the most effective ways to ensure that a viral illness runs a mild or benign course is to provide children with adequate stores of vitamin A prior to exposure.

Instead of putting efforts in providing our children, future citizens, proper diet, we either submit lives to FEAR (Vaccines) or EGO (Post-viral-attack medicines).

Learn to set priorities right and save unnecessary hurdles in life.

Infection prone monsoon comes only after we have had enough Vitamin A rich mangoes 🙂

Mother nature is very kind. She always want to see her kids flourishing, achieving life-goals.

3 Studies : How would-be father’s life routine affect future generations

Father

Of course, focus would be on pregnant mother for 9+ months. Her role and patience is supreme. No doubt about it. But that does not mean we ignore fatherly duties!

Pregnancy does not start when a female realizes conceived baby.It starts much before when very first thought of having kids arises in couples’ mind!

Father plays critical role before pregnancy. His entire life-routine play a significant role in passing legacy to immediate offspring and all future offspring.

Documenting three studies discussing role of father.

Suggestions:

  • Don’t take unnecessary office stress if you are planning to conceive in next 9-12 months
  • No family issues for 9-12 months before planning
  • Control on senses. No indulgence of entertainment, TV, movies etc for 12 months before child planning
  • Simple home-cooked food. Regular food timing
  • Regular exercise, walking and running
  • Surya Namaskara

Research


Increased stress on fathers leads to brain development changes in offspring

New research in mice has found that a father’s stress affects the brain development of his offspring. This stress changes the father’s sperm, which can then alter the brain development of the child. This new research provides a much better understanding of the key role that fathers play in the brain development of offspring.

https://phys.org/news/2018-02-stress-fathers-brain-offspring.html

Stressed mouse dads give their offspring high blood sugar

Paternal Psychological Stress Reprograms Hepatic Gluconeogenesis in Offspring

Both epidemiologic and experimental animal studies demonstrate that chronic psychological stress exerts adverse effects on the initiation and/or progression of many diseases. However, intergenerational effects of this environmental information remains poorly understood. Here, using a C57BL/6 mouse model of restraint stress, we show that offspring of stressed fathers exhibit hyperglycemia due to enhanced hepatic gluconeogenesis and elevated expression of PEPCK. Mechanistically, we identify an epigenetic alteration at the promoter region of the Sfmbt2 gene, a maternally imprinted polycomb gene, leading to a downregulation of intronic microRNA-466b-3p, which post-transcriptionally inhibits PEPCK expression. Importantly, hyperglycemia in F1 mice is reversed by RU486 treatment in fathers, and dexamethasone administration in F0 mice phenocopies the roles of restraint stress. Thus, we provide evidence showing the effects of paternal psychological stress on the regulation of glucose metabolism in offspring, which may have profound implications for our understanding of health and disease risk inherited from fathers

http://www.cell.com/cell-metabolism/fulltext/S1550-4131(16)30006-7?_returnURL=https%3A%2F%2Flinkinghub.elsevier.com%2Fretrieve%2Fpii%2FS1550413116300067%3Fshowall%3Dtrue

The father effect

Discovery of how environmental memories may be transmitted from a man to his grandchildren

If you have diabetes, or cancer or even heart problems, maybe you should blame it on your dad’s behaviour or environment. Or even your grandfather’s. That’s because, in recent years, scientists have shown that, before his offspring are even conceived, a father’s life experiences involving food, drugs, exposure to toxic products and even stress can affect the development and health not only of his children, but even of his grandchildren.

But, despite a decade of work in the area, scientists haven’t been able to understand much about how this transmission of environmental memories over several generations takes place. McGill researchers and their Swiss collaborators think that they have now found a key part of the molecular puzzle. They have discovered that proteins known as histones, which have attracted relatively little attention until now, may play a crucial role in the process.

http://www.mcgill.ca/newsroom/channels/news/father-effect-255992

 

Faulty Parenting leads to addictive tendency

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Researchers at the University of Adelaide say addictive behaviour such as drug and alcohol abuse could be associated with poor development of the so-called “love hormone” system in our bodies during early childhood.[1]

Parenting

• Nuclear family structure,
• Frequently changing job locations and hence frequently changing neighborhoods,
• Lack of empathic teachers
• Lack of attachment with local culture, mother tongue
• Constant struggle between parents
• Parents – more attention for individual self-interest than child-interest or family-interest

All above contributes largely in lack of emotions and love relations for growing child

Result?

Addiction and abuse.
Solution?
Pause. Go back to your roots. Joint family. Stability over career growth. Time spent in searching quality food over time spent on entertainment.
Lot more to learn from your dead grandparents. Sooner, better.

Moment a thought process for child planning start to child’s upanayan samskar (age 6 to 12 – depending upon child’s capacity), all parents should aim for stability over personal achievements. At least, we can do this in our chaotic times


Research


 

[1]

Oxytocin in learning and addiction: From early discoveries to the present

http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0091305713003183

Abstract

Oxytocin (OXT) has a plethora of effects on brain function. This review provides a historical overview of the development of research on OXT and drug addiction. By focusing on research that has emerged from our laboratories, we describe how early discoveries of the influence of OXT on learning and memory processes and the emerging conceptualization of addiction as ‘pathological learning’ have contributed to the demonstration that OXT effectively attenuates long-term neuroadaptation related to opiate and psychostimulant addiction. Through integrating earlier evidence with recent discoveries of the social/affiliative role of OXT, we propose that OXT may interfere with reward and addiction by influencing neurobiological processes involved in stress, learning and memory and social/affiliative behavior.

Can ‘love hormone’ protect against addiction?

http://www.adelaide.edu.au/news/news69442.html

Researchers at the University of Adelaide say addictive behaviour such as drug and alcohol abuse could be associated with poor development of the so-called “love hormone” system in our bodies during early childhood.

The groundbreaking idea has resulted from a review of worldwide research into oxytocin, known as the “love hormone” or “bonding drug” because of its important role in enhancing social interactions, maternal behaviour and partnership.

This month’s special edition of the international journal Pharmacology, Biochemistry and Behavior deals with the current state of research linking oxytocin and addiction, and has been guest edited by Dr Femke Buisman-Pijlman from the University of Adelaide’s School of Medical Sciences.

Dr Buisman-Pijlman, who has a background in both addiction studies and family studies, says some people’s lack of resilience to addictive behaviours may be linked to poor development of their oxytocin systems.

“We know that newborn babies already have levels of oxytocin in their bodies, and this helps to create the all-important bond between a mother and her child. But our oxytocin systems aren’t fully developed when we’re born – they don’t finish developing until the age of three, which means our systems are potentially subject to a range of influences both external and internal,” Dr Buisman-Pijlman says.

She says the oxytocin system develops mainly based on experiences.

“The main factors that affect our oxytocin systems are genetics, gender and environment. You can’t change the genes you’re born with, but environmental factors play a substantial role in the development of the oxytocin system until our systems are fully developed,” Dr Buisman-Pijlman says.

“Previous research has shown that there is a high degree of variability in people’s oxytocin levels. We’re interested in how and why people have such differences in oxytocin, and what we can do about it to have a beneficial impact on people’s health and wellbeing,” she says.

Baby wipes: Parental laziness inviting life-long allergy for kids

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wipes
When I talk about going back to roots, many of my friends feel odd and raise eyebrows.
Read what doctors are suggesting. Focus on Red highlighted part.:

“Reduce baby’s skin exposure to the food allergens by washing your hands before handling the baby,” Cook-Mills said. “Limit use of infant wipes that leave soap on the skin. Rinse soap off with water like we used to do years ago.

Water and cotton cloth : Two best tools to take care babycare! We really damn don’t need fancy chemicals loaded solutions!!
Wipes were introduced to us by hospital when my son was admitted at age 7 days. I found it odd and unusual. Ever since I realize what this wipes are, we stopped using it. Very early in my son’s infant age. May be within few weeks.
 
Some parents feel pride in using it! I see it as sign of laziness! Laziness in parenting????
 
Some of us, being adult, travelling in air, dining in luxury hotel, have develop habit of using it!
 
Remember one thing: Smoking and tobbaco chewing causing cancer is old thing! There are more chemicals silently developing havoc in our body! Only breaking our obsession with western life and modernism will save us! Be wise, pause, think twice before adapting any new habit blindly!
I wrote and warned infant parents, not to use them! 5 years down the lines, studies are emerging with links with allergy and inflammation.
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Old Post from 2013
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Iodopropynyl butylcarbamate(IPBC)  is a water-based preservative agent originally used in the wood and paint industries. Initially used as a water-based paint and wood preservative and then in metalworking fluids, its role has expanded into the more recent uses in cosmetic products.

It is contact allergen as well as causes inhalation toxicity.

Would you mind your beloved child to inhale toxins after defecation and urination?

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Research facts
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IPBC is a suspected gastrointestinal and liver toxin, and is thought to present risks to human reproduction and development, having been linked to the potential for reduced fertility and increased risk of pregnancy problems. It’s a suspected teratogen, which means that it may increase the risk of birth defects.

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IPBC based baby-wipes are banned in New zealand

Ingredient Watch List: Iodopropynyl Butylcarbamate, the Toxic Preservative


http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10751895
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/12022126

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Latest Research
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Food allergy is linked to skin exposure and genetics

The factors contributing to food allergy include the genetics that alter skin absorbency, use of infant cleansing wipes that leave soap on the skin, skin exposure to allergens in dust and skin exposure to food from those providing infant care. Food allergy is triggered when these factors occur together.

https://news.northwestern.edu/stories/2018/april/food-allergy-is-linked-to-skin-exposure-and-genetics/

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Solution
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So what are better alternatives for people who still want to use the toilet paper in their homes and baby wipes for their children or selves after bowel movements or even to freshen up? When choosing toilet paper, aim to purchase chlorine free, dye free, recycled and fragrance free. Often these companies are a fair trade company that vows to help the earth through recycling and conscious production and manufacturing of their paper products. Using a little warm water on the tissue before wiping or using a small squirt water bottle (mimicking a bidet) is a great alternative as well. As far as baby wipes go, try not to use them. If convenient, rinse your baby’s bottom in the bath/sink with warm water. If you must use a baby wipe, choose hypoallergenic, fragrance, alcohol, and dye free. Remember that our skin is the largest organ of the body and “drinks” whatever you smear, wipe, spray and rub into it.

Sound of Mother’s voice : Aid for Fetal Brain growth

Ramayana

Tragedy of our times is that while mother should engage in life-enriching conversations with the womb, she has to attend conference calls, meetings, mobile games, whatsapp and all.

Imagine the frustration of the child in the womb for beginning life with such non-responsive parents?

I know few couples, who stopped using TV, mobile and all as soon as they realized to have a baby. Worth. Take care. Try it.


Even after birth, for first 2 years, dedicate your maximum time to child.

In India, grand mother prescribes pregnant females at home to read Ramayana and Mahabharata aloud. Instead, most of them now watch TV all the time :).
 
They suggest to sing Halarda to kids during sleeping time, but instead moms start mp3 on mobile :D.
 
Do you know why? Here is the hint:
 
“”Babies begin to hear at 25 weeks’ gestation, and they’re exposed to the mother’s voice and heartbeat,” Lahav said. “If you put them inside the incubator for five to six weeks, you’re actually depriving them of these maternal exposures to the mother’s voice. The incubator is seemingly a wonderful piece of equipment. But at the same time, it’s like a social cage.””
 
Even after birth, babies seek continuous hearing from mother. Her presence and voice help baby a lot in ongoing physical and mental development.
 
If I become Health Minister or can influence present minister, I will give full 2 years paid leaves to working mothers. 🙂
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Research
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Sound of Mother’s Voice in Womb May Aid Fetal Brain Growth

Study of preemies who heard recordings from mom showed larger auditory cortex

Babies may get a brain boost in the womb when they hear the voices and heartbeats of their mothers, a new study suggests.

Researchers studying premature babies in the hospital found that the sound centers in the babies’ brains grew more quickly when they heard recordings of their mothers rather than the normal clamor of intensive care units. The recordings were manipulated to simulate sounds heard in a womb.

It’s not clear what this means in the long run, “but it shows how important it is for mothers to interact with their premature babies when they visit,” said study co-author Amir Lahav, an assistant professor of pediatrics at Harvard Medical School in Boston.

Babies born prematurely often suffer from hearing and language problems, Lahav explained, and the researchers wanted to know more about how they’re affected by the weeks they spend in an incubator instead of in their mother’s womb.

“Babies begin to hear at 25 weeks’ gestation, and they’re exposed to the mother’s voice and heartbeat,” Lahav said. “If you put them inside the incubator for five to six weeks, you’re actually depriving them of these maternal exposures to the mother’s voice. The incubator is seemingly a wonderful piece of equipment. But at the same time, it’s like a social cage.”

The study findings probably apply to all babies, one expert noted.

Previous research has shown that fetuses respond to the sound of the mother’s voice. At birth, babies take notice “and say, ‘Hey, that’s what I was waiting for,’ ” said Janet Werker, a psychology professor at the University of British Columbia in Vancouver.

“There’s very strong evidence that at birth, full-term babies show strong preference for the language they heard in utero and the voice of their mother over other women,” she said.

But it’s not clear if the mother’s voice is the only important one, since exposure to other voices could be just as critical, Werker added.

For this latest study, the researchers chose a group of premature babies who were born at 25 to 32 weeks. Nineteen were randomly assigned to hear the normal noises of the hospital, while 21 heard recordings of the voices and heartbeats of their mothers. The second group listened to the recordings for three hours a day.

http://consumer.healthday.com/cognitive-health-information-26/brain-health-news-80/mother-s-voice-may-help-hearing-centers-in-babies-brains-grow-696746.html

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