Child Development

Child Development

Kids: “Who farmer? Food comes from supermarket”



In agrarian civilization (some of us have habit to call it barbaric way of living), father (as per mother’s instructions 🙂 ) plays important role in selection of raw food items (grains, vegetables, fruits, masalas etc) for family. He buys them from very very trusted sources as he knows that food is what makes life happier. He ensures physical and mental quality of the food.

Such tiresome life-engaging efforts often pay good results in terms of great children, amazing family bonding/unity and overall healthy lives.
What a modern father do?

Start a car/bike, go to mall and pick up chocolates/biscuit/wafers so that kids don’t cry and hammer him. On the way back to home, stop at McDonald and pack burgers and pizza with cold drink.

Such modern tiresome efforts do pay results. Good or bad, I won’t comment – we have ample evidences around us. What a leapfrog of progress of civilization! 🙂

Question to self: Do I pay enough attention and efforts in food source selection and verification? Are labels on products packaging enough? This is possible best when I have direct links with food producers. Do I know farmers in my area?

Note: Photo is obtained from google search.

Infants seek mother’s voice, smell and milk!



Infants seek mother’s voice.
Infants seek mother’s smell.
Infants seek mother’s milk.

I have shared many times on this wall, how critically they are.

Imagine the growing senses’ sensorial stress:

1) When we offer idiot radio/tv/youtube rhymes in robotic voice instead mother singing the bhajans/songs for infants/toddlers?
2) When a toddler/infant is full of artificial smell (powder, soap, oil, room freshener, parents deodorant, car freshner )
3) Mother is replaced by maid

Autism (or any psychological disorder in kids) does not only cause by chemicals. We first create worse mental space for it to occur.

Never compromise with innate needs of growing kids i.e. mother and motherly family members. Their wakeup time should be full of interactions with mother and motherly figures.

What Baby seek? Magical motherly smell



I raised this point sometime back with breast feeding reference. Read one interesting research so sharing it again.

Imagine infants long for their mothers and mothers are away working in sweat shops, (So called $ minting machines i.e. service industry) slogging for more than 8 hrs.

Can this longing be fulfilled by hefty salary or your personal career ambition?

I understand. You are trapped in so called ‘विकास’ or vicious cycle of having more and more.(Rat race?) I completely understand your pain.

That’s where, I expect so called revolutionary govt to steps in. Is it not possible to pay working mothers full salary for full 1 year so that she can stay with her infant little longer?

Infants, Sleep and Samadhi

I never wake up / wake up someone before 100 minutes from sleeping time. Let there be at least 1 cycle completed.

People often feel amazed when leaders like Modi ji work tirelessly with less sleep. The reason being is efficient management of REM sleep. Or rather sleep slots of 90 minutes.

If you sleep for 3 hrs (2 90 minutes slots) and little more. You can be better regains and fresh compare to someone sleeping 8- 9 hours without managing 90 minutes slots (Deep sleep + Rem sleep cycles)


Many of us strives to realize the state of Samadhi while in awake state but all efforts are futile without following the regime.

Only possible for all type, Kaliyugi glimpse of being connected with the source, supreme consciousness, is sleep. Specific REM sleep. If you have sound sleep, if you know art of sleeping then REM slot is the period when you may have opportunity to realize the self. Provided you have good enough clean mind. If the mind is not clean from all types of lusts (greed, arrogance, fame the 12 mental stool -shared in past), it is difficult to achieve. Eventhough, REM is critical sleep period.


Kids below 5 are God personified (until they develop Ego. Nowadays, it happens very early. Around 3) . They remain in REM state for longer during sleep. Since they have longer sleep span, they experience more REM states in one night compare to adults.

One suggestion I always give to fellow young parents of infants and toddler is: NEVER EVER COMPROMISE Child’s sleep! Sleep is their growth accelerating state. Sleep is their medicine. Since they are in rapid growth stage, maximum cellular changes happen. During sleep, this process is regularized. Sleep is when they form new memories. Sleep is when they learn new concepts. Sleep when they grow. So, zero tolerance for sleep.

Most of kid’s sleep is REM sleep. Rapid eye movement sleep (REM sleep, REMS) is a unique phase of mammalian sleep characterized by random movement of the eyes, low muscle tonethroughout the body, and the propensity of the sleeper to dream vividly.

A newborn baby spends more than 80% of total sleep time in REM. Infants spend more time in higher REM sleep than adults. The proportion of REM sleep then decreases significantly in childhood.

Usually, REM sleep happens 90 minutes after you fall asleep. The first period of REM typically lasts 10 minutes. Each of your later REM stages gets longer, and the final one may last up to an hour. Your heart rate and breathing quickens.
As per research [1],

“REM sleep acts like the chemical developer in old-fashioned photography to make traces of experience more permanent and focused in the brain,”
“Experience is fragile,” he said. “These traces tend to vanish without REM sleep and the brain basically forgets what it saw.”


Frank said young brains, including those of human children, go through critical periods of plasticity – or remodeling – when vision, speech, language, motor skills, social skills and other higher cognitive functions are developed.

The study suggests that during these periods, REM sleep helps growing brains adjust the strength or number of their neuronal connections to match the input they receive from their environment, he said.

My suggestions to parents (based on my parenting and sleep management experience so far)

1) SLEEP first. All your adult activities (TV, Mobile, Whatsapp, Work, Fun, Movies, Marriages) can wait, SLEEP cannot wait.
2) Avoid travelling as much as possible for first 5 years. Let kid enjoy sound sleep in his/her daily sleeping room. No frequent changes.
3) Try to reach home before Kid’s regular sleep time.
4) From age 0 to age 20 – Avoid all stimulants like antidepressant medicines, steroid, alcohol, smoking, high sugary diet (Imagine teens addicts! Critical REM compromise! )
5) Avoid brain stimulant medications for child
6) Sleep must accompanied by parent.


REM sleep critical for young brains; medication interferes

REM sleep critical for young brains; medication interferes

Unfortunate infants and Feeding Formula


Every time I see infants left to the bottle, for all silly reasons (parents busy in window shopping, went for movie, for party etc), it is extremely painful sight. 🙁

Infant Milk

Breast-fed is not just about nutrition but vital immune memories!

And there are some anxious parents who strive physical growth for their kids, on prescription of doctor, start feeding formula.

To Anxious parents who feed formula powders to kids :

रानी लक्ष्मी बाई, महाराणा प्रताप, भगत सिंह, सुभाष चन्द्र बोस, गुरु गोबिंद सिंह जी आदि महावीरों ने कौन सा बेबी पाउडर पीया था?

Stop torturing your kid’s digestion track by artificial nonsense processed food!

Educate parents around you!


Breast vs. bottle feeding in rhesus monkeys

Infants receiving different diets after birth develop distinct immune systems


While the researchers expected different diets would promote different intestinal bacteria (microbiota), they were surprised at how dramatically these microbes shaped immunologic development. Specifically, breast-fed macaques had more “memory” T cells and T helper 17 (TH17) cells, which are known to fight salmonella and other pathogens.

These differences persisted for months after the macaques had been weaned and placed on identical diets, indicating that variations in early diet may have long-lasting effects.

“We saw two different immune systems develop: one in animals fed mother’s milk and another in those fed formula,” said Dennis Hartigan-O’Connor, a CNPRC scientist in the Infectious Diseases Unit and Reproductive Sciences and Regenerative Medicine Unit, and an assistant professor in the Department of Medical Microbiology and Immunology at UC Davis.

“But what’s most startling is the durability of these differences. Infant microbes could leave a long-lasting imprint on immune function,” he said.

मातृत्व is gender-neutral



I consider that child as ‘born with a silver spoon in your mouth’ which has access to following two things:

1) मातृहस्तेन् भोजनं | ( Food cooked by mother or motherly family member(s) )

Most kids now eat outside food more often than cooked at home.

2) मातृमुखेन् शिक्षणं | ( Learning imparted by mother or motherly family member(s) in mother-tongue)

Motherly family members are rare. Almost extinct. Unfortunate kid.

These kids are luckiest. 

Unlike popular image injected in many of us by modern life, The men have a deep involvement in actual child rearing and caring.

Few days back, I wrote about unique feeling that can sprout in anyone, male, female, biological mother, biological father or anyone! That feeling is मातृत्व. This post is about मातृत्व expressed by father.

If you are a father of infant, open up!! Let the flood of emotions submerge your child’s growing mind!! That is what he or she seeks from you!

here is the interesting note from social media:

Bayaka fathers are HIGHLY tuned to their nurturing nature. In other words the native indigenous nature of man is wholely different that the psuedo chest thumping, hardened characterization of ‘manliness’ that many of our men have taken on in response to inhumane conditions and conditioning.

“The father takes great interest in his baby. He plays, holds and hugs the child as much as the mother does. Men and women equally manifest love and care. In fact, fathers will sometimes hold their babies for very long periods of time. Hallet recalled, “The most beautiful time for a father is when he holds his baby for the very first time. He will hold his newborn with great . . . tenderness. And usually he will cry, because he is so touched by his baby.”

The men have a deep involvement in actual child rearing and caring…

(pictured: Bayaka man with his child)


Your kid is not your machine




Your kid is not your phone or robot that it will work same as your friend’s phone or robot. Did you give birth to kid to mold him/her as robot? Why wasted so much biological energy then? You could have bought robot from market. There is no factory settings for kids that you can reset. Once you inject trauma by showing him/her inferior to others, it is imprinted. You restrict their growth! They are here to realize their own fate. Do not interrupt with your crazy idea to mold him as some ideal.

Psychological trauma generated by comparison is very difficult to soothe. And is permanent loss of child’s opportunity to grow uniquely.

Not only parents, school teachers often engage in same nasty mistake. Keep an eye on school teachers too. Stop them comparing your precious jewel with other jewels. No two diamonds can be of same size and shape.

World ahead is tough. Those who are like sheep (which will happen if you want your kid like others’ kids) will be wiped out by the challenges of the world. Make sure your kid grow as unique person and not copycat of someone’s kid. And yet he or she is wise enough to participate in community living.

Take care!

Liberating Education


What exactly school curriculum in India inject in growing mind?


1) traditional societies have been steeped in ignorance and superstitions for thousands of years;

2) they are living a life of abject poverty; and that this poverty has been caused by extreme forms of social discrimination and exploitative socio-political systems. And, perhaps most devastatingly, that modern education is the most potent instrument of deliverance from this ignorance, superstition, social injustices and poverty.

I am not surprised by the outcome, the brainwashed product of modern Indian education. I see them all around. Daily. Everywhere.

No, I am not talking about glorification of past or fanatic religious views in school curriculum. But fact based preview of the past and re-learn from it for the better future.

Contrary to the popular understanding among the educated classes of India, large part of the country did have a fairly good system of governance, finance and revenue, and a working education system, as late as even the early 19th century.

Awareness of these systems, of the prevailing conditions which supported their sustainability, and of the processes/strategies employed to destroy them, would help us when thinking of new strategies for building a learning society for all.

Read more here:

Life is a Child’s play



The child puts things in his mouth, not because he wants to eat them, but because that’s his most developed sense, and that is how he learn to identify the vast objective world. It shows that we learn from going back to what we know. Initial years of childhood is the time of play, and as mammals, we are actually designed to learn through play, which is how we gather information. Let your child enjoy care-free world of learning. School is secondary, learning is primary. If he or she does not like school, let it be! Do not force! Do not plan a plot of dumb driven cattle! Einstein said that he would rather have imagination than intellect. It is imagination that forms the basis for our later intelligence.

Play, life is a play. Play, no hassles of intellectual pressures in early age, just play, period. Abundance of free-style learning! Irrespective of age, this is divine concept taught by Krishna in Bhagwad Gita to us –> Life is play, play it effortlessly!

The disease of being busy



How did we end up living like this? Why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we do this to our children? When did we forget that we are human beings, not human doings?

Whatever happened to a world in which kids get muddy, get dirty, get messy, and heavens, get bored? Do we have to love our children so much that we over-schedule them, making them stressed and busy — just like us?


I see more and more kids becoming adults very early. Reaching their puberty age early. Due to this unnatural change, most adults are trapped with childish mind. And being-busy bug is realized very late in 40s or 50s…by the time life is waiting at funeral pyre. 🙂

Why do we do this to ourselves?

Spare time for self. For family. For kids. For Society. For City. For Mother Nature. For…self.


After we settled in, we went to one of the friendly neighbors, asking if their daughter and our daughter could get together and play. The mother, a really lovely person, reached for her phone and pulled out the calendar function. She scrolled… and scrolled… and scrolled. She finally said: “She has a 45-minute opening two and half weeks from now. The rest of the time it’s gymnastics, piano, and voice lessons. She’s just…. so busy.”

The Disease of Being Busy



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